how can u be prego again
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
