It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
