These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
