i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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