I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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