of course. lets lasso hookers.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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