Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
