I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
