i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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