I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
