you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
