it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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