8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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