I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
