I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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