I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
