why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
