NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
