It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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