Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
