please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
