she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
