Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
