if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
