well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I need a beard to bite.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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