Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
