That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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