id be glad to
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
We just shotgunned beers for America
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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