I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
