I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
