Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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