dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
