I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
