It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Boobs are out for the taking
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
