Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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