You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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