he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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