Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Randomize
