I cut my penus on the lid.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
We had to coat check the pizza.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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