I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
