I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
We talked him into tasing himself.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
