Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
