Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize