omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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