is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
