Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
