my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
