Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
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