Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I party with great urgency now.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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