went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
