idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Randomize
