So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
