worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Walk of Shame today included voting.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
