brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
