Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me†eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
