Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
