guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
