absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
