We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
