I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
